hey, take a break.
For the past couple of weeks/months, I’ve been feeling extremely guilty whenever I’m not working or sitting in front of my computer. It got to a point where I realized it was really bad because I would enter my room at 8–9 AM and wouldn’t leave till the sun went down. There were moments where I had to question what I did that day and moments when I didn’t even go downstairs to eat. The basic things that a normal human being should be doing, I was completely neglecting. I finally had to wake up and realize that I wasn’t taking care of myself.
I actually felt super guilty whenever I rested because I felt like I didn’t deserve to rest and I felt like my idea of resting equated to me being lazy. I feel like we live in such a go-go-go society where we are always searching for something better, always trying to improve ourselves, always striving for the next big thing, and if we’re not doing that, we’re somehow falling behind.
I’m writing this to myself because I think I’m finally coming to terms of understanding that it’s OK to take a break. Actually, you SHOULD take a break. A REAL break. A break where you’re actually at peace, not feeling guilty.
It’s OK to define your own happiness even if that might not be what happiness is defined as in the world and that doesn’t make you lazy or complacent or any less motivated.
It’s easy to say that we all take different roads in life and everyone has different timing, but I think too often than not we forget. We forget to just live, live in the moment of being present, going outside to soak in some sun, not looking at your phone when you’re brushing your teeth or doing dishes or doing basically anything we used to do without technology.
I felt pressure from no one and I felt burdened by no one but I constantly told myself …
“Grace, you have to do better.”
“Grace, this is not enough.”
“Grace, you should be improving more rapidly.”
Blah blah blah.
What I really want to say is “Grace, you’re doing great. You’re doing your best and go take that break, not because you deserve it, but because everyone needs it.”
